Warning: The following recap of Critical Role Campaign 3, Episode 81, contains spoilers.
Steep bargains and a healthy dose of sexual innuendo paved Bells Hells’ path back to the Ruidus excavation site in Critical Role’s final episode of 2023. Here’s a full recap of Campaign 3, Episode 81.
Critical Role Says Goodbye to 2023
In the episode’s opening ceremonies, Sam Riegel reflected on another year of chaos-inducing Critical Role ad reads with a fittingly cursed montage set to his own off-brand variation of Sarah McLachlan’s “I Will Remember You”. Throughout the evening, Riegel’s prop gas can also provided updates on the actor’s resolutions for the coming year. After winning his second Emmy award this past weekend, Riegel fostered equally grandiose New Year’s ambitions like carving out more time for TikTok and filing down his teeth.
Before looking too far ahead, Dungeon Master Matthew Mercer was joined by Critical Role Lore Keeper Dani Carr to reflect on a piece of Critical Role’s past. Mercer and Carr offered a send-off to the team behind Critical Role Stats, who have worked diligently to track every conceivable Critical Role data point since pretty much the dawn of the stream. Critical Role Campaign 3, Episode 81 marked the end of the site’s operations, and they sent along a farewell of their own on social media.
With Bells Hells preparing to depart for their reconnaissance mission on Ruidus, Critical Role’s last episode of the year exuded an “At Dawn, We Plan!” energy. Comfort was the theme of the evening, from Mercer’s pajamas to an opening sequence that allowed space for Fearne and Ashton to get comfortable in their newly awakened primordial powers after last week’s conclusion of the shard saga.
Chetney Names a Door and Strikes a Deal
While Fearne and Ashton explored just how deep their new powers could go, Travis Willingham’s elderly gnome Chetney Pock O’Pea contemplated striking a deal with Nana Morri, the Fatestitcher. Despite jokes that Chet’s wish to regain his youth could land the party with their own Boss Baby, Bells Hells did genuinely worry about the price of Nana Morri’s deals and the double-edged sword that might result in her twisting their meaning.
In typical Critical Role fashion, a door stood as the first significant hurdle between Chetney and his deal-making desires. After an unexpected and comical back-and-forth, Chetney gifted the talking door to Nana Morri’s collection the name Sir Push-Pull (with other suggestions including punny versions of past Bells Hells player characters such as Doorian and Bor’Door).
Once within Morrigan’s collection, Chetney realized that his first draft deals concerning youth and immortality were vanilla fare among the Fatestitcher’s clients. Circumventing these unoriginal contenders, Chetney instead proposed a deal to make himself “the most famous toy maker in Exandria.” It was only fitting that Chetney, a character conceived by Willingham for a holiday-themed one-shot, would attempt to launch a final coup on Santa Clause during Critical Role’s last episode before Christmas.
In return, Nana Morri asked that Chetney procure her piece of the God Eater Predathos, and with both sides agreeing to these terms, the deal was struck. The true price of reneging on a deal with the Fatestitcher has yet to be fully explored, though some bleak indications have been glimpsed in her torturous topiary. Warnings that Chetney may have miscalculated in wording his deal shined through when Morri described her intentions with his toy-making legacy as “notorious” (this birthed another delightful character pun in Notorious P.O.P.).
Imogen Visits Ruidus in Critical Role Campaign 3
On their last evening in Ligament Manor, Bells Hells enjoyed a Hero’s Yeast of Ha-wine rolls baked by Fresh Cut Grass and decided to take a preliminary visit to Ruidus in Imogen’s dreams. Orym, FCG, Laudna, and Ashton jointly experienced Imogen’s recurring vision of the red moon, but only Imogen heard the warning voice of her mother as they plunged to the depths of the Ruidus. New bits of lore were unveiled to both audiences and players alike as Mercer described subterranean caverns and bodies of water on Ruidus.
Bells Hells was abruptly booted from the dream, leaving Imogen alone with a profound sense of belonging. “This is the womb,” Mercer described to voice actor Laura Bailey, “and you wish nothing more than to return to this place with your entire core.” Awaking slightly after the party, Imogen dodged questions about what she saw and felt after they were kicked from her dream. The Ruidusborn sorceress’ unusual connection with the Moon of Ill-Omen has previously been of concern to Bells Hells and Mercer used this final dream to emphasize its powerful thrall. Fortunately, Liam O’Brien rolled a hearty Insight check and earned himself a whisper from Bailey that armed Orym with perhaps more knowledge about her complex feelings.
Liam O’Brien Strikes a Familiar Bargain
O’Brien decided to round out the year doing what he does best – tugging at the heartstrings of Critical Role fans. After the entire party went to sleep, Orym snuck off to strike a deal of his own with Nana Morri. The fighter asked Morrigan for a boon to help better protect his friends on Ruidus. If it worked and the entire party made it back from Ruidus alive, Orym agreed to join her at Ligament Manor as her caretaker after Bells Hells’ work on Exandria was complete.
Critical Role fans are all too familiar with an O’Brien player character promising his future to a powerful purveyor of fate. Ironically, the Fatestitcher and the Matron of Ravens are known to harbor a bit of background animosity, but each of the two now seems to have earned herself an O’Brien player character. Mercer appeared surprised that not one, but two, members of Bells Hells struck a deal with Morri and Bailey joked that Ashton’s foolhardy decision to take the shard of Rau’shan in Critical Role Episode 78 started the party on their path of chaotic decision-making.
The Bells Hells Return to the Excavation Site in Critical Role
After a mostly full night’s rest, Bells Hells had a final breakfast in the Fey Realm before returning to the Malleus Key. Fearne’s parents, Ollie and Birdie, promised to make up for lost time with their daughter when she returned and Nana Morri fed FCG some “soul food” in the form of a mysterious and many-faced orb. The capabilities of the egg-like object were not made clear by Morri, but FCG belched out a chorus screams after consuming it.
Allura and Morri then transported the Bells Hells to the excavation site, now covered with tents and encampments representing deferent Exandrian forces and factions. Here, they reconvened with Vox Machina allies, Keyleth and Percy, and learned of their joint plan to distract the forces at the frontlines long enough to sneak Bells Hells onto the Bloody Bridge. Keyleth, Percy, and Allura were flanked by Campaign 1 nonplayer characters Earthbreaker Groon and Guardian Tofor Brotoras and a new face in Mythtaker Qi Mendozi.
Before enacting their plan, Fearne noticed Groon’s attention had been drawn skeptically toward her and Imogen. When Fearne confronts him about these odd glances he expresses his reservations about sending a party with two Ruidusborn on this crucial reconnaissance mission. Though this revelation sparked some debate from others as well, they were talked down by both Keyleth and Allura’s reassurances. Launching their illusory skirmish, Keyleth was able to transport the Bells Hells to the base of the Malleus Key, where Mercer teased 2024’s first battle map in Critical Role Campaign 3.
Sam’s Can: As teased earlier, Riegel’s gas can for Critical Role Episode 80 displayed a list of several New Year’s Resolutions. Here’s what the FCG player character plans to deliver in 2024:
#1: File down teeth.
#2: Quit (being so) smoking (hot).
#3: Find a decent bottle of >$150 wine.
#4: Make more time for TikTok.
#5: Run a half-half-half-half marathon.
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