Op-Ed

Earth to Hollywood: The Last Train to Sanity Leaves at Dawn

On a personal note: California is, in fact, the strangest place on Earth. My apologies in advance to any strange Californians who may be reading this.

Under the subject heading: “Never Get Off the Boat,” a small group of Themites and I spent – literally – two hours looking for a place to eat last night. The adventure began when Greg insisted that we eat at “a great place” which unfortunately had been demolished.

Take Two: There was another great place just down the road, in Hollywood. Sadly, poor Whit couldn’t get in because they were carding at the door.

Take Three: Hugo’s.

This from the pamphlet Erik took from the stand near the door:

Once Upon a Time There was a Dream

Cut to: The five of us poring over the organic/holistic menu for 45 minutes trying to find something that someone in their right mind would eat.

Everything on the Hugo’s menu was almost normal, if viewed through hippie-colored glasses. All of the cocktails were made with some strange, sweet potato-derived alcohol. There were burgers, but the meat was 100% cruelty-free Angus. There were fries, but the ketchup was organic. There was bread, but it was very very brown. And chewy.

Honestly, I’m blanking out the memories, but as far as I can recall, everyone ordered something as close to normal food as we could find and it all came back slightly more green and extremely more brown that we’d anticipated. But it was tasty. And the one rule of E3 which we’ve all learned to follow is “If there’s food – eat it.”

Good times.

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At Night, The Ice Weasels Come

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