Cousin! Achieve your dreams with this free-to-play game!
Did you actually think that your life-long goal of someday ruling the moon with an iron fist would never come to sweet, tyrannical fruition? Don’t be ridiculous! That dream, and dozens of others can now all come true with the help of just one powerfully inspirational game that dares its users to embrace the motto “Nothing’s gonna stop me now!” while jumping after stars in a bizarre, literal word-for-word graphical depiction of the theme song to 1980s hit sitcom comedy show, Perfect Strangers.
Many of you may be too young, too hip, or frankly too cultured to remember (or want to remember) when a young man from Mypos by the name of Balki first showed up on his cousin’s Chicago doorstep back in 1986. For seven years, American cablites tuned in for what, in today’s terms, would probably be summed up best as Borat meets The Real World. What’s best about this game, however, (other than the fact that it’s actually official and not ironically fan-made) is that you need exactly zero familiarity of the show upon which its based to appreciate and/or enjoy it. In fact, it might be all the funnier that way.
The game is simple and short; players type in their dream and, with the help of some inspirational song lyrics, fight to run toward the bright horizon of their possibilities for about one minute and nine seconds. For every star you miss, part of your goal will become jumbled at the end. So, do a good job, otherwise your dream may become: “I want to rhde a comet bexng pullad by a velodiraptor.”
So, if you’d like to join a long, celebrated line of prestigious dreamers that currently includes such visionary idealists as Kermit T. Frog, John Lennon, and Balki Bartokomous, just head over to www.nothingsgonnastopmenow.com and get jumping! Remember, people, a hostile military moon-coup is only fifty stars away if you believe it is!
Will you win, and become so happy that you perform the Myponian Dance of Joy? I’m counting on you.
