Being a superhero now-a-days is a lot different to when that big blue cheese started. First off, there are a lot more around – it seems you can’t turn over a rock in most comic universes without somebody discovering new powers or an artifact of power. Secondly, everyone (especially the bad guys) are a lot more used to dealing with superpowers on a day-to-day basis. Being able to fly just doesn’t cut it anymore as an impressive ability as you’ve also got to be able to shoot lasers out of your eyes or crush coal into diamonds if you want to be noticed… or even survive your first encounter with a villain.
As such, lets have a look at what it takes to eke out an existance as a modern superhero. This won’t be an all inclusive list, but that’s why I called it “Part 1”.
- [li] You have to be bulletproof… at least. Back in the old days it was considered impressive to see the bullets bounce off Superman’s chest. Today, this is pretty much standard as every two-bit hood, gangbanger and their grandmother carries a small hand cannon with them. If you can’t catch a .50 round and stay healthy, the superhero game isn’t for you.
And this is the minimum standard.
Around every other corner some gadgets whiz is cooking up advanced neutrino lasers or other such weaponry capable of vapourising a small building in a nano-second. The hero who can walk through a storm of lead bullets will find themselves a drying spot on the pavement when these high-tech gizmos are brought out. It seems most heroes of the modern age need to be able to survive a small nuclear blast if they want to be greater than the neighbourhood good guy.
I should also mention that being bulletproof (or better) doesn’t necessarily protect you in melee combat. Edged weapons (eg knives / swords / claws) can slip right through armour designed to stop bullets since the energy behind it is greater for the surface area it comes in contact with. This means Mr Bulletcatcher can still get stabbed and hurt.
“But I can dodge bullets!” I hear you cry. This leads to the next point…
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[li]Dodging is great, but it isn’t enough. Some heroes are lucky enough to get powerful senses or the ability to dodge / block / catch whatever is thrown at them. Writers often take these abilities to ridiculous levels (“Spidey sense… tingling! MJ’s … about to throw out my favourite shirt!”) in order to justify why the hero in question can dodge something fired at them from a post code away.
The problem is that having super-reflexes works great against “normal” villains, but as soon as you go up against a superpowered bad guy, the rules change. Being able to dodge the bullets he fires is great, but as soon as the hero gets hit with a punch that would shatter concrete he better hope he’s bulletproof (or better) or can heal quickly (see the next point). Okay, being able to dodge bullets means you’ll probably be able to dodge his punches too, but if all the bad guy has to land is one punch before it’s game over, the hero had better hope the he doesn’t get (un)lucky.
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[li]You have to be able to heal quickly. Being able to stop bullets with your hands while dodging high-energy lasers is great, but at some point the modern hero is going to get hurt. This may be in a climatic battle against your arch-nemesis with the fate of the entire world in the balance or you may simply roll your ankle on the steps you meant to fix around the house. Either way, you better be able to fix yourself up quickly.
Things were a bit different in the old days. Bad guys were worse shots than they are now and didn’t regularly have access to automatic weapons. Recipes for explosives were not readily available. Villains would sometimes mock the wounded hero and escape rather than closing in to finish the job. Heroes were less likely to get badly wounded or killed when out fighting crime.
This has changed. Villians are more likely to go for the killing blow and even a missed one of them can still hurt a lot. Even bulletproof (or better) heroes have been known to reel a bit when hit by a large caliber bullet in the head. Today’s hero just faces a greater opportunity of getting hurt (or even killed).
Even being slightly wounded is a problem. If you aren’t heroing, you aren’t earning money (see the next point), so you will see your bills just stack up. Even minor injuries will sap your ability to protect others and can lead to greater injury if you go back too hard too soon. If you aren’t at the top of your game when patrolling, the chance exists that an encounter you would normally breeze through could be your last.
All in all, the modern hero has to be able to heal more quickly and recover from a lot more punishment than the heroes of yester-year.
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[li]You’ve got to get paid. As much as the image of the hero is one who does it for the good of all, you’ve still got bills to pay. Heck, with the amount of structural damage you can potentially cause, you’re probably about one mission from being sued for all you have and then you’ll have legal bills on top of ordinary bills.
Sure, the golden age heroes didn’t have to deal with this, but most of them were already filthy rich by the time they decided to don a mask and costume so they could beat up the socially disadvantaged. It is from these guys that the “heroes don’t take money” attitude comes from – that’s because these guys already had it.
It’s a completely different story today. Costumes cost. Gadgets cost. Fixing a pane of glass because you threw someone through it costs. Everything costs. Citizens aren’t just going to smile and thank you for saving them; they’re going to complain you ripped their shirt doing it and now owe them money.
Incurring these kinds of costs is fine if you are on a corporate- or government-sponsored team because someone else will cover them (within reason). For the freelance hero, the future is nothing but bills, bills bills if you so much as scratch someone else’s car in the line of duty. Every wonder why so many heroes decide to keep their identity a secret? Avoiding legal problems is close to the top.
Those are just a couple of things the modern hero has to deal with that his / her forebears didn’t. There are others, but I’ll deal with them at a future date.
