A man in Austin, Texas has been accused of trying to choke his girlfriend to death with the cord of a Wii controller after she woke him up to scold him for eating all of her Girl Scout cookies.
According to the arrest affidavit, when Christina Alvarado woke up to find all of her Girl Scout cookies eaten, she decided to not wait until later that day to give her boyfriend, Daniel Alvarez, a piece of her mind. Alvarez, however, was so upset that Alvarado had woken him up that he started yelling at her and then proceeded to put her in a choke hold which, Alvarado claims, lasted several seconds before she hit him in the eye and got free.
Eventually the two ended up in the living room, where things escalated when Alvarez pinned Alvarado to the ground, got on top of her, pressed his knees into her chest and grabbed what police are describing as a “Wii video game controller” and started to choke her with the cord. We all know that Wiimotes don’t have cords, so maybe it was connected to a Nunchuk or maybe it was a Classic Controller? Anyway, Alvarado was able to break free quickly, at which point Alvarez, probably realizing he was in some deep doo doo, fled the scene. Alvarado called 911 and minutes later the cops had apprehended Alvarez.
If it all seems a bit outlandish to you, there is some damning evidence against Alvarez. When police arrived on the scene, they found Alvarado with a cord mark around her neck, struggling to breathe and speak. Alvarez is currently housed in Travis County jail with a bail of $40,000 and facing charges of aggravated assault with serious bodily injury. The charges carry up to 20 years in prison. I don’t think there’ll be Thin Mints or Wii Sports in there.
